nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I came so hard my ears popped.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
