I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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