He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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