My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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