just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
