I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.