I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.