She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.