my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.