god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize