never play flip cup with pint glasses
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
