By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just had sex on a roof
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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