I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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