That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
