I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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