Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
