You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
