I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
