Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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