My sheets look like a crime scene.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
