He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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