Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
