i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
