am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
