with your own penis?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
