somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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