question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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