and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize