I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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