I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
