So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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