No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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