Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize