If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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