WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
