Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
