adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
