Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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