I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
