im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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