I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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