3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
