I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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