Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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