i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
