Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
