If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
