You just made me feel so damn special
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
