names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
