also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm like, not good at living.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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