Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
