Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
