Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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