Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
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He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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