Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
