He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
