hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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