so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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