He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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