And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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