I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
