i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize