I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
